I just want to snuggle up into someone’s chest and listen to soft music and fall asleep.
I crave human contact way too much.
just so we’re clear if i ever become famous you guys totally have my 100% permission to use me to get back at any bitches who teased you in school like im not even kidding just send me a message with your situation and i will fly my ass out to your high school reunion or whatever and be your +1 and we can regale all the bitches with the fantastic stories of our foolhardy adventures and THEY WILL NEVER KNOW
*prepares party popper*
*nervously shakes the party popper*
*slowly falls asleep with the party popper*
*has a wonderful night with the party popper*
*gets married to the party popper*
It’s a beautiful evening in February. My wife and I are sitting at the fireplace, when suddenly a terrible image appears on the screen of my computer.
My wife looks at me. As I look in her terrified, cardboard eyes, filled with tears, she takes a deep breath, before saying with her shivering voice “It’s what you’ve always wanted, dear. Do it.” My hands start shaking and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. “I can’t, honey. I’m not like that anymore.” “I will do it.” a small voice behind us says. As I turn around, my eyes cross with my son; our son. “You don’t have to do this, Benedict.” I say, as I hold his hands.
Ignoring what I told him, young Benedict Popper-Are Optional holds my wife’s cardboard body in one hand, and her long, beautiful string in the other. With tears in my eyes, I turn my head away. A loud pop sounds behind me and I watch in terror as I see my wife’s confetti spread across the room.
"It’s what you’ve always wanted, dad…" my son says, putting his small, cardboard hand on my shoulder. "Yes," I say, "but not like this… Never like this…"
what the actual fuck
why is there fan art
nevermind that why is their son lettuce
hey arthur conan doyle, happy birthday! thanks for bringing sherlock holmes into the world!
While Benedict is poised and eloquent, he has that added factor of being a complete dork, just like the rest of us, and I only love him more for it! ;)
I HAVE JUST READ SWAG AWARDS. SOMEONE GET ME OFF THE INTERNET, pls
Look at how smug and confident he was when he entered the restaurant… But the moment he saw John for the first time after two years he turned into a nervous puppy. Sherlock Holmes was actually stunned for a moment,
Requested gifset by anon
Martin Freeman’s bum in Men Only
my parents don’t realize that i am perfectly happy avoiding humanity